Archive for the ‘humor’ Category
…means being constantly attacked by small animals.
Well, according to these pulp mag covers, anyway.
And vicious turtles? Really?
The 90s weren’t just a dark period for comic books, they were pretty bad for comic books on TV as well. Exhibit A: The Fantastic Four’s own Johnny Storm (voiced by 90210’s Brian Austin Green) rapping:
I love how there’s also conductor directing an orchestra to back up Johnny’s hip hop stylings. Nothing says “funky” like white pants and an orchestra!
(via CBR’s Comic Book Legends Revealed)
Today’s entry marks the 100th post in the Weekend Versus feature! And I thought this would be a good time to go out with a bang, at least temporarily. Yes, WW is going on hiatus for a bit. I’m sure it’ll return in due time, but for now, let’s enjoy this last look at comic book crossover conflicts.
After the write-up I did of the horrible 90s “parody” publisher Spoof Comics in this post, I was left with a few unused comic covers. So here for your reading enjoyment (torture) is a look at conflicts, Spoof-style. First up, Spoon vs Batbabe::
See, Spoon is just like Spawn, except she has a bunch of spoons tacked on to her costume! Isn’t that clever? Isn’t that just devilishly humorous?
And next, Goat Rider vs. Moobius:
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but with a name like Goat Rider, it would have made more sense to have the character ride a flaming goat, instead of the same motorcycle Ghost Rider rides. At least that would present some potentially funny visuals. But that’s just me. Man, and that cow humor never gets old, eh?
Good job, Spoof Comics. You’ve once again proved why you only existed during the terrible 90s, the Dark Age of comics.
And with that, Weekend Versus bids you a fond adieu…at least for now.
Saw this on a newspaper website (in their “social media” sidebar where they post tweets somewhat relevant to the main article). Anyway, someone called joshlaw81 pontificated:
I hope they make two 3D spin off movies about the robots in Star Wars so the second one can be called R2 D2 & C3P0 2 3D
In an announcement that came as no surprise to anyone (except maybe a handful of brain-dead racist assholes huffing glue behind the dumpster of a Taco Bell somewhere), flavor-of-the-month and world-class douchebag Donal Trump finally revealed that no, in fact he won’t run for President of the United States of America.
“I’ve decided that we are going to continue onward with ‘Celebrity Apprentice…I will not be running for president as much as I’d like to.”
I know, I know, big disappointment.
So as The Hairbag’s political ambitions come to an end, so too does this short-lived blog feature. Sure, after just the first 2 postings, our humble blog climbed to the top of the Google search results for “donald trump douche bag,” claiming the #1 and #2 links. But much like claiming you got to third base with your sister, it’s a dubious honor to say the least, and certainly not worthy of celebration. But at a minimum, the world got a couple of fantastically funny comedy routines at the expense of ol’ Turdhead, courtesy of Seth Meyers and none other than President Barack Obama.
So long, Mr. Trump. You may never become President of these here United States, but history will always remember you…as a worthless, self-aggrandizing, misogynistic, arrogant, vapid douche bag.
From the incredibly funny blog Dads Are The Original Hipsters:
Your Dad read comic books before you did. His Super hero’s weren’t pansies like your politically correct pussy push overs now. They were real heros, heros who saved the world and fucked the girl every 25 pages. It wasn’t just the heros that were better either, the illustrations were too. So much detail went into every page that you could practically see Lois Lane’s lady bush in every comic strip.
So hipster, next time you’re knuckling through the pages of your favorite comics with your dick beaters, remember…
you suck, everything you do sucks and you’re plagiarizing your dad’s swag.
P.S. Online comics don’t count as real comics, you can’t have a first edition of xkcd.
Look, I know that Trump is only pretending to want to run for president to increase the ratings on his reality show and promote his “brand” (which incidentally, despite the myth he likes to propagate of Trump the savvy businessman, is mostly an empty charade of a fast-talking charlatan with failed casinos and multiple bankruptcies in his wake). We all know he has no intention of actually running. But in the meantime, the media is so willing to give him what amounts to free air time for his show and other dubious ventures, that I think it’s more than fair to poke some fun at him, using his own ridiculous words. Case in point, from USA Today:
“I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks,” Trump said on Talk 1300 AM radio in Albany, N.Y.
In light of his repeated reference to “The Blacks,” I’d like to change his moniker on this blog from Donald Trump: Douche Bag to Donald Trump: Culturally Aware Douche Bag. I wonder when he’ll get around to talking about “The Gays” and “The Foreigners”.
Also, The Onion sums it up perfectly and succinctly (as they always do) in this headline:
(thanks to Tom for the above link)
Recently, while looking for comic covers to post as part of the Weekend Versus feature, I ran across several more books from a publisher called Spoof Comics. You may remember them from this previous edition of Weekend Versus, featuring their oh-so-clever Wolverbroad vs. Hobo book, or this one, featuring Spider-femme vs. Denim.
Well, I’m here to tell you that judging by the covers of their other books, it’s a testament to the strength (and insanity) of the 90s era speculative market that they lasted as long as they did. Again, I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t read a single one of these comics, but honestly, I can’t imagine any of them actually being funny. For example, we’ve got O-X: Cow O’ War:
First of all, the character’s name doesn’t even make sense, other than it’s the best they could come up with that would somewhat rhyme with Punisher. I don’t even want to know how they wove in the theme of dating and sex and “punishment,” because I have a feeling it’s a bunch of frat house juvenile humor. But hey, check out the early Dave Johnson cover. At least he went on to bigger and better things.
And speaking of great cover artists, the folks at Spoof Comics were at least smart enough to know they’d have a better chance of selling their books if they put some recognizable talent on the covers. My guess is the interiors of these comics were drawn by hungry, naive young artists with way more enthusiasm to “break in” than actual alent. You know, the Bluewater model. So if you can get some nice looking covers, you may at least trick some unsuspecting souls into buying your crap comics. Case in point, Swamp Thang:
Oh, Kelley Jones, you must have had a car payment to cover that month. But at least it’s a really good cover. And then there’s Spider-femme:
That’s right, despite the normal looking (and sized) breasts, that’s pinup artist extraordinaire, Adam Hughes. Incidentally, the above cover is from their anthology series Spoof Comics Presents, which, get this, lasted 19 issues! And in that year and a half of publication, they gave us such gems as Daredame:
…Vertigo parodies like Dame Patrol:
…and the super-innuendo of Green Lanterns:
(by the way, I’m pretty sure that’s a Cully Hamner cover on GL)
…and so many other comedy classics, from Justice Broads to Wet Shirts. I’m telling you, Spoof Comics was a veritable (un)funny factory, churning out not just comic book spoofs, but also those of celebrity rock bands. Behold, Kisses:
But even in the early stages of their careers, guys like Adam Hughes and Kelley Jones probably charged too much for a cover (and by too much, I mean “not free,” which seems to have been Spoof Comics’ payment standard), so their other books looked more like this:
That’s right, Youngspud. What’s funnier than a parody of Rob Liefeld’s Youngblood book, than a bunch of potato superheroes? God, I can just imagine all the funny lines in that book: the heroes drink a lot to get “mashed,” or maybe they fight a French supervillain knows as The Fry?
Well, I’m afraid that’s about as much as I can stand to write on this topic. But before I go, I’ll leave you with the best of the bunch. Behold teh funny of Soul Trek:
I don’t even want to know.
Headline says it all:
“Gwinn said that Aaron began to struggle with money because he would spend his drug money on comic books…The comics are valued in excess of $500,000.”
Half a mil? Dang, there must be a lot of hot collectors items all up in them longboxes, yo.
Files this under “things to be proud of”…
I was looking over the referral logs for the site, and noticed that our humble little comic book blog ranked #1 on Google’s search results for the query “ty pennington buttcrack”
You read that right. Number. One. On Google.
In case you’re wondering, it’s due to this post from over 4 years ago.
I believe this calls for a drink. Just not at Betty’s.
PS. In case you’re curious, we rank #2 for the query “hot collectors items” for this snarky post by Craig.
Lots of fun comic book related stuff to share, so let’s just get to it:
- ComicsAlliance.com reviews the David E. Kelley script for the pilot episode of the new Wonder Woman TV show. Broken down in to “The Good, The Bad, and The Crazy” categories, from good decisions like getting the origin story out of the way quickly, to bizarre bits like her fleet of primary colored high-tech planes.
- Graphic NYC has a nice interview with Kyle Baker.
- Not a link, but in case you were interested, the DC Universe Holiday Special 2010 anthology I had a story in sold 13,679 copies in December, putting it at #147 on Diamond Distribution’s list of top 300 best selling comics in December.
- Popular Science magazine awards their Robot of the Week title to the crazy-ass killing machine in the Tamil sci-fi movie, Enthiran. Check out the absolutely insane action in this long video clip:
- Geekosystem has a rundown of some of the most sexist video game ads from the past few decades. Enough to make even the most dyed in the wool chauvinist hang his head in shame.
“I still use a lot of tricks that they taught me in the bullpen to just hack it out,” Kyle notes. “Everyone who draws should do this: Dick Giordano told me ‘You sit with a timer on your desk. Every comic book page is about three tiers, and it takes about half an hour each tier. So, I wait until the big hand is at the top or the bottom, and I start inking and give myself half an hour. I ink all of the important stuff: faces, figures, a gun or a car, and then I look at the clock and go ‘Oh my god! Twenty-five minutes have passed and I’m nowhere near done!’ So, then I paint everything else black.’