Yeah, I’ve got the itch again…
Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius. (Real Men of geee-nius!)
Today we salute you, Mr. 90s Speculation Fad Cover Bringer Back Man.
(Mr. 90s Speculation Fad Cover Bringer Back Man!)
Having nearly caused the collapse of the entire comic book publishing industry in the 90s under the weight of crass, ill—conceived, money-grubbing gimmicks like multiple variant covers, you’ve decided that there’s still too much money to be made exploiting dumbass fanboys not to bring back those same exact crass, ill—conceived, money-grubbing gimmicks like multiple variant covers.
(Where’s my fish scented scratch-n-sniff Aquaman #0?)
So what if you’re just fueling the same fires that nearly bankrupted the whole industry by greedily pandering to ignorant collectors? We see the method to your speculation madness, O’ Hideous Huckster of the Hobby.
(Embossed metallic tits on Power Girl makes my eyes burn!)
Hologram covers? Foil embossed logos? Limited-edition leather bound books? Please. Those are so 1993. You’re all about the new digital millennium: “negative art” variant chase covers.
(I’ve got Photoshop, who needs to pay an artist?)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. 90s Speculation Fad Cover Bringer Back Man, for when it comes to repeating the mistake of history, you do it in style…with an interlocking gatefold cardstock cover.
(Bud Light Beer, Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri)